ONE

Champions of Extraordinary Marriages

Bumps in the road November 24, 2009

Filed under: Communication,intimacy,marriage — Tony & Alisa @ 9:58 pm
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I am not perfect and this time of year usually magnifies those flaws.

Between Thanksgiving (at our house) and Christmas we have both kids birthdays and the anniversary of the death of our second son on top of all of the usual holiday “stuff”.  I am one of those people  who tend to shut down when things get to be too much and that happened just a couple of days ago.  My multitasking was not going as well as I would have liked and I was starting to drop those balls that I typically juggle so well.

It all came to a head on Sunday night when Tony said the dreaded words “I think we need to talk”.  Now, I don’t care who you are hearing those words is usually not a good thing and this was one of those times.  We sat on the couch, I didn’t even want to look at him, as we attempted to work our way through what was heavy on my heart.  My first reaction was to sit there, in silence, take in what he had to say, parrot back to him the “right” answers and move on.  But you know what, this time I fought that urge, I resisted being flippant and I took the time to listen, truly listen to the pain that I was causing my husband and my marriage.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable to my husband and I deeply appreciated his sentiment that he was not going to “give up on me”-ironic because that had been the topic of Pastor Harry’s sermon just that morning.

Why do I share this with you?  Because on the outside you can’t always tell what is going on with someone or with their marriage.  Because even good relationships hit bumps in the road.  Because you can learn new behaviors to overcome the ones that have been a problem in the past.  Because when you are married to someone who is not willing to give up on you, you have to make the extra effort to grow that marriage, to make it truly extraordinary.

What do you and your spouse need to talk about today?

Alisa

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Friday the 13th… November 21, 2009

Last Friday was a great Friday the 13th…It was my day to Take the Lead and I did, Tony had no decisions to make.

I made reservations at a restaurant we had never tried before, Cafe Luna.  From the moment we walked in the service was superb and the atmosphere was fantastic.   A very intimate setting it was perfect for a night just the two of us.  Our server, Jamie, was incredibly friendly and helpful.  She even offered to take the picture of us.Date Night

Jamie listed off the specials of the day and left us to contemplate dinner.  I decided on the Ravioli Con Noci and Tony had the Flat Iron Steak with Chipotle Rice.  Both meals were amazing.

It was great just to sit and enjoy the slower pace of a meal by ourselves, taking the time to just enjoy each other’s company.  And I have to say that it’s amusing to me that Tony is now the one who photographs the food so that you  can enjoy seeing our dinners.

Dinner was followed by a desert, Chocolate Decadence.  WOW!!!  A lightly baked dark chocolate confection with pineapple creme fraiche and strawberries around the plate.  For those of you that don’t know, I love chocolate and this dessert had just the right balance of flavors.

After dinner we spent the evening at Borders and at Kohls shopping together, something we really only get to enjoy when the kids are at the sitter.

In addition to discovering Cafe Luna I also found the website Coupon Cabin to get a discount gift certificates for the restaurant.  It was an amazing deal.  For only $7 we were able to purchase a $25 gift certificate.  Net savings $18 for a meal we were already going to eat.  Since then I’ve found deals were you can get the gift certificate for even less.  Check it out and enjoy your date night.

Tell us about one of your more memorable date nights.

Alisa

 

So…Who are we? November 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tony & Alisa @ 9:36 am
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Simple answer-Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo.

Married for almost 13 years, together for 15.  Two kids.  Self employed.

The more difficult answer to that question is that we are very much just like you.  We are a “normal” couple, we have the kids, the mortgage, monthly bills and commitments to church, family, friends, school and other activities.  We have many hobbies:  Tony is an avid road cyclist and Alisa enjoys scrapbooking, photography and cooking.

We are a couple who has and who continues to weather this amazing experience called marriage.  We have learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart-it requires incredible amounts of effort, planning and old fashioned hard work.  We have survived addiction to pornography, enormous debt, child loss, business start-up, a spouse hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (Tony was gone for 138 days) and the day-to-day trials of being married to someone who has their own quirks that sometimes make us CRAZY.

And we can honestly say that after all of this time our marriage is stronger then it ever has been and our sex life has gotten better over the years.   We will talk more on that soon…

Thank you for being a part of our story.

Alisa

 

Looking back while moving forward… November 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tony & Alisa @ 9:42 pm
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About a year ago something was stirring in our house that would change the way Alisa and I would approach our marriage.  After 11 years of marriage we were your typical married couple.  Working, kids, family trips, school, birthday parties, and everything else that comes with being married.  Life was routine-from finishing each other’s sentences to intimacy.

Come join us for an adventure…we will be looking back to where we were a year ago and what we have learned.  Marriage doesn’t have to be routine.  It’s OK wives to say yes to your husband more than once a week.  Husbands it pays to compliment and encourage your wives.  These are just a few of the many lessons we learned during our 40 days of intimacy.

Sound impossible?  Sound crazy?  Are you thinking there is no way my spouse would ever agree to that?

Come along on our journey…

Tony & Alisa