It’s time we came clean with how we find ourselves writing this blog and even talking about marriage. It all started back in August 2008. Tony and I were about to lead a small group on intimacy and had stumbled across an interview with two couples who had done what would seem virtually impossible. Chandra Mueller had offered her husband 365 nights of intimacy for his 40th birthday and Douglas and Annie Brown had had sex for 101 nights. As we are watching these interviews on the computer I’m thinking to myself that these women are NUTS!!!!! I make sure to verbalize this to Tony so that he doesn’t get any crazy ideas.
I’m glad I verbalized my thoughts to Tony, but having been married to him for 11 years I expected something. He didn’t disappoint me. The next day he threw it out there. “Hey Alis, what if we were intimate (make love/have sex) every night for the next two months while we lead our small group?”
Tony loves throwing ideas out there and this was one I didn’t have to or want to think about it. There was no way I was going to say yes to be intimate with him every night for the next 60 days. We probably made love once a week, maybe twice if we were lucky, and now he wanted to make love every day. No thank you, good night.
That night, as I laid there in bed reading, my mind was working overtime. I was actually kind of intrigued by the idea. The “What IF’s” kept coming up.
What if we did this?
What if I enjoyed it?
What if I said yes?
How would this work?
Could I do this?
At the time (September and October 2008) we had a 5 year old and a 2 year old, Tony had his business obligations, we were involved in our church and our many other activities from volunteering to sports.
Would I like it? Don’t get me wrong here I enjoy being intimate with my husband, but would it still be good day after day after day for 60 days? I didn’t want to lose the special connection just because we were trying to make love for 60 daysl.
Here’s the big ONE…Was I willing to give up my excuses (I’m tired, it’s been a long day, I don’t feel like it, etc.) and commit to saying YES every day? I’m sure every husband reading this is probably thinking that this would be the ultimate gift. However, I had become very comfortable controlling the frequency of sex in our marriage. If I was in the mood for it then we would make love, otherwise sorry. Was I willing to relinquish that power I had over our sexual intimacy?
The evening after Tony asked, “What if we were intimate every night for the two months while we lead our small group?”, I told Tony the one word that will forever change our marriage, “YES”. And then he said one of the craziest things I have ever heard…
What do you think he said?