I am not perfect and this time of year usually magnifies those flaws.
Between Thanksgiving (at our house) and Christmas we have both kids birthdays and the anniversary of the death of our second son on top of all of the usual holiday “stuff”. I am one of those people who tend to shut down when things get to be too much and that happened just a couple of days ago. My multitasking was not going as well as I would have liked and I was starting to drop those balls that I typically juggle so well.
It all came to a head on Sunday night when Tony said the dreaded words “I think we need to talk”. Now, I don’t care who you are hearing those words is usually not a good thing and this was one of those times. We sat on the couch, I didn’t even want to look at him, as we attempted to work our way through what was heavy on my heart. My first reaction was to sit there, in silence, take in what he had to say, parrot back to him the “right” answers and move on. But you know what, this time I fought that urge, I resisted being flippant and I took the time to listen, truly listen to the pain that I was causing my husband and my marriage. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to my husband and I deeply appreciated his sentiment that he was not going to “give up on me”-ironic because that had been the topic of Pastor Harry’s sermon just that morning.
Why do I share this with you? Because on the outside you can’t always tell what is going on with someone or with their marriage. Because even good relationships hit bumps in the road. Because you can learn new behaviors to overcome the ones that have been a problem in the past. Because when you are married to someone who is not willing to give up on you, you have to make the extra effort to grow that marriage, to make it truly extraordinary.
What do you and your spouse need to talk about today?